Asian Lady maa...

The story goes that there was this Asian lady married to an English gentleman and they lived in London. The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but managed to communicate with her husband.

The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries. One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy pork legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, lifted up her skirt to show her thighs.

The butcher got the message and the lady went home with pork legs. The next day, she needed to get chicken breasts. Again, she didn't know how to say, and so she unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breast. The lady
got what she wanted.

The 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. She brought her husband to the store...

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What were you thinking?

HellOOOooooooOOOooo, her husband speaks English!

2 kunfu-master attacking flies...

Two kung-fu masters were carrying on about their respective skills. "Why, my reflexes are such that you will not believe," boasted Master Foo and drawing his sword, he sliced at a passing fly, which promptly dropped dead in two pieces.

"That's nothing," said Master Koh. Drawing his sword, he made two deft cuts at another passing fly.

Master Foo was highly amused. "What are you talking about?" he sneered. "That fly is still flying."

"Ah yes," replied Master Koh, "but now it can never have children."

Shit!!!

One day, Ah Choy & Ah Seng were walking down the Chinatown when they saw something in their path.

"Wait!" cried Ah Choy.

"Wat is lat ho?"

"Yah ho! Be carefool lo," warned Ah Seng.

"Wat is it?" They approached the thing and looked at it very closely. "Eee.. look like shit lah!" say Ah Choy.

"Hmmm..smell like shit also!" say Ah Seng after taking a deep breathe.

Ah Choy then poked the thing with his one finger, raised the finger to his lips, tasted it and said, "Tastes like shit!"

Ah Seng pushed his finger right through the thing and stick out his tongue to lick. With confident, he said, "Confirm is shit!"

Then they smiled at each other, "Wah! lucky we didn't step on it."